When fear rears it’s ugly head.
What do you think holds people back from living their dream life? Ability? Drive? Desire? Knowledge? Nope.
Fear will literally block you from the very thing you want. If there is something you know you want but you feel stuck or incapable of taking action towards it, there’s a good chance fear is rearing its ugly head. Fear can creep into your life in a multitude of ways, but there are 11 fears that most commonly prevent people from living their dreams.
1. The Fear of Rejection
Many people avoid entering into new relationships, going for a job or trying to meet new people due to a fear of rejection. Even married people often avoid approaching a long-time spouse to ask for something due to a fear that the person will say no. Whether you’ve got a fear of your boss declining your request for a raise, or a fear that the attractive person won’t go on a date with you, don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back and do it anyway.
Someone saying no to you does not mean you aren’t valuable or wonderful or worthy. It just means that you are not a match to whatever it is you are “rejected” from. Often things we are rejected from, in time, we realize were blessings. Or an indicator that we just weren’t up to speed with our current belief about the subject just yet. Rejection is a gift when you ask and understand what it really means.
2. The Fear of Failure
One of the top fears in the world is a fear of failure. Many people won’t try something new unless they’re confident they can win.
Failure is a normal part of life. It often drives us to try a new approach, learn something new, and ultimately get better and better. It’s interesting that when something doesn’t work out as we expected we put it in the “bad” category. Why not just call it practice? Because if we are honest, we are always striving to get better and better. So aren’t we technically always practicing with the goal of getting better continuously? You never really get it done, so you’re always wanting more and you’re always wanting to improve. The quicker you make peace with this the happier you’ll be.
3. The Fear of Uncertainty
The fear of uncertainty often prevents people from trying something different. They often worry, “What if I don’t like it?” This fear can prevent people from trying new things or doing things differently from the way they’ve always been done.
Tony Robbins has said, “The quality of your life is directly related to how much uncertainty you can comfortably handle.” If you are always trying to control things or can’t allow yourself to have blind faith, you’re going to miss out on a lot of great things. You have to allow yourself to be open to different experiences and ways that you haven’t been in complete control of.
4. The Fear of Loneliness
Sometimes people stay in bad relationships or resist living alone due to their fear of loneliness. People who fear loneliness believe it is better to be around someone than no one, even if that someone is bad for them.
Learning how to feel fulfilled while alone is an important art to master if you want success in any aspect of your life. If you’re happy with yourself you won’t be lonely regardless of who is or isn’t beside you.
5. The Fear of Change
We live in a rapidly changing world. However, many people fear change. As a result, they resist it. The fear of change can cause people to become stagnant and they may miss out on a lot of really good opportunities in life.
Life is change. If you’re afraid of change,you’re afraid of life. You are always changing, people are always changing, desires are always changing. Change is good, and if you can learn to embrace it you’ll live a happy and fulfilled life that keeps up with your desires. Learn to love change.
6. The Fear of Loss of Freedom
Many people enjoy the freedom they have as a single person and as a result, they avoid serious relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to tolerate the loss of the freedom. This also happens with job changes or the decision to have children or not.
Freedom is a state. You can feel free in all that you do because the ultimate freedom comes in the understanding that you create your own life through focused thought. And since no one can think for you, isn’t that the ultimate freedom? This is a universe based on freedom.You are always free, unless you believe otherwise.
7. The Fear of Being Judged
People who worry that they’ll be judged negatively by others often shy away from social opportunities or chances to advance their career. People who adopt this fear often exaggerate how others will perceive them negatively and underestimate their ability to tolerate not being well-received by others.
Fortunately for you, it is none of your business what others think of you. All that matters is how you feel about you. Practice being your own biggest fan and watch what happens.
8. The Fear of Something Bad Happening
When people constantly fear something bad happening, it often restricts their activities. They may avoid doing a lot of things or going to certain places due to an unrealistic fear that bad things may happen.
Keep in mind that it isn’t what happens to us or around us, but how we REACT that causes us to feel pain or not. It’s the story you tell about it, not what happened. You get to choose the meaning behind everything, and if you see everything as happening for you not to you, there’s nothing to fear.
9. The Fear of Getting Hurt
People who have a fear of being emotionally hurt often refuse to enter into relationships. They may avoid friendships, keep family at an arm’s length, and skip romantic relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to handle getting hurt.
Relationships with people, whether it be family, friends, romantic, career-related, etc. can provide some of the highest emotional experiences in the world. Fearing experiences with others denies you of the joy in co-creating with other people which magnifies our joyful life experiences.
10. The Fear of Inadequacy
One of the top fears many people share is that they’re just not good enough. They may pass up opportunities for a promotion or may decline an opportunity to lead a group because they worry that they’re inadequate. Often, they overcompensate for their fears by trying to be a perfectionist but remain plagued by thoughts that they just don’t measure up to other people.
You are perfect. You are ready. Remember, if you can think it, it is not unrealistic. You are worthy of whatever it is that you want, and you don’t need validation from anyone else. Just give it a shot.
11. The Fear of Happiness
A fear of happiness might sound strange but if you have this fear you will block or sabotage anything that brings you joy, leading to a life of back and forth, in and out, starting and stopping, you get the idea. Often people with this fear associate times of great happiness with a soon or immediate experience of something incredibly unwanted. In other words, something bad follows something great. So to keep themselves safe, they avoid true joy.
You can move past any fear you have once you are conscious of it, accept it, and decide to consciously move past the fear. If you would like additional help doing this you can sign up for an introductory coaching session here.