Dana Gatto
Why do problems seem to get so heavy? Why do problems get such a bad wrap?
There tends to be negative emotion at the heart of problems, which isn’t what makes them feel so bad. It’s that we tend to stay at the level of the problem far too long that makes them seem so heavy. You see, a problem is meant to be felt, but not stewed in. Problems are the greatest gift we can give to ourselves if we learn to embrace their true meaning and understand there is always a solution, and that it is far closer than we may initially believe. Once we have problems, or things we would like to change, we have to get ourselves into a place of allowing solutions. In order to create something new or experience something new you often have to ignore your current reality long enough to come up with or allow a solution. Once you get yourself into solution mode you will receive the answer and then you can quickly move into inspired action. It isn’t that you pretend what has happened isn’t happening, its that you now focus entirely on the solution. It is vital to note that solutions always feel good, problems always feel bad (because you’re focusing on the unwanted).
You need problems or contrast to know more specifically what you do want. Problems are an indicator that you’ve been living in negative emotion for far too long, focusing on what you do not want or prefer, but unwilling to shift focus to what you do prefer. If you let them be, problems really are the greatest gifts. So its not that you deny they exist, its that you don’t focus on them for too long. You notice them and shift into problem-solving or better said, solution mode. This means you have to feel better and you do that by believing there is a way and there is an answer. You don’t just ignore the problem and continue feeling bad. You ignore the problem and instead find a way to feel better, knowing that is where solutions come into play.
What stops us from allowing ourselves to feel good enough at the heel of a problem to allow the solution?
-GUILT that we shouldn’t feel better or be happy when there is a problem looming (whether its ours or someone else’s). Like it is somehow wrong to feel good when someone or our own selves are experiencing something unwanted.
-DENIAL because we want to protect our ego and pretend we never mess up or couldn’t possibly have gotten to this place. Denial that this is the current reality because it feels overwhelming or permanent.
-VICTIM-mentality. Not taking responsibility for the problem, blaming someone or something else. You have to completely own the problem in order to solve it.
-ATTENTION/SIGNIFICANCE-if you feel significant because you have problems you won’t want to solve them. If you get attention or help or support because you struggle, its hard to change since you’ve tied support and attention to feeling bad. Note to self…if people are only around when you feel bad or are struggling, they might not be the best people to be around. You want to surround yourself with lovers of life who know problems are normal, but don’t let you or themselves stay there too long. Everything has a solution.
-LACK OF FORGIVENESS (HOSTILITY) not forgiving yourself or someone else.
-PERFECTIONISM (a.k.a. FEAR)-feeling like a total failure in life because one thing (or even many) didn’t go as planned
-FOCUSING ON LACK or LIMITATION. Your solutions come from a place of struggle or minimalist thinking instead of an abundance mentality where options are endless and solutions always feel wonderful
All solutions come to you based on the emotions you feel and beliefs you hold. This is why you hear feel good and then allow the path. Because if you try to think your way to the solution you are limited by your current belief system. Not that this is bad, but there are easier, more fun ways you have never considered all lined up for you. The great thing is, no matter where you stand, there is a solution. Once you think a solution, you get to choose whether to follow it or get in an even better feeling place and be inspired to another solution that feels even better.
The best way to shift all of this is to view problems or things we want to change in a different light. They are not bad. They do not mean you’re a bad person or eternally flawed. They aren’t permanent. It is completely normal. Its a part of life. You will never get everyone to agree with you anyway, so find a way to accept and forgive yourself.
You’ve got to have resilience in life. You’ve got to keep going. You’ve got to accept yourself. You’ve got to live this life for yourself. You have to love you. You have to forgive yourself and them. When you can do that, you can see the solutions. You can see the next step. You can see the possibility. Even if it has not manifested yet, you can feel that it is there.
Have fun with this!
XO,
Dana
