Dana Gatto
Do you yearn for peace within yourself? Here is a list of 10 ways you can feel at peace immediately and permanently.
1. Allow instead of force.
When you feel like you’re trying too hard, take a step back. Forcing is resistance. Trying to make something happen is a sign that you don’t quite believe in what it is that you want. So instead of putting in so much effort, work on allowing yourself to release resistance regarding what it is that you want. You want the action you take to feel good. You want it to be inspired. Work on your mind and your emotional state and the action will be easy and fun.
2. Stop trying to prove yourself.
You have nothing to prove to anyone. You are not here to prove yourself to your parents, your significant other, your friends, your boss, your enemies, your kids or anyone else. What people think of you ultimately is none of your business. And regardless of how hard you try to stand on your head to please them, they either still won’t be pleased or you won’t because you did it to prove yourself instead of doing it because you wanted to. Live your life according to your own personal values and desires and you will always be pleased.
3. Accept that not everyone is going to like you.
It’s true. You just cannot expect that every single person on this planet is going to like you. People like different things. People are all operating in different emotional states with different belief systems. Therefore, they are seeing in you what they are capable of seeing in you. If you spend your time trying to get these people to like you, you’re going to waste A LOT of your life. If you live your life authentically you will attract the best people and those that will really like you will find you.
4. Know what’s important to you and what’s not.
This one is incredibly important. Know who you are and what you stand for. Know what you care about and what you don’t. Every single person has their own set of values and not only that, they have their own order of importance for these values. You get to choose what you care about and what you don’t. What you give your attention to grows, so make sure you are giving your attention to things you truly care about. Once you identify what these things are, make sure you nurture the things that are important to you in order to feel fully fulfilled.
5. Just because you’re good at it or just because you can, doesn’t mean you should or you have to.
Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you have to. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it as work or for others. Just because someone asks something of you does not mean you have to give it to them. This is about decision and freedom of choice. You get to decide for yourself what you want to do for yourself, others and the world at large. You don’t have to do anything, you get to decide. Follow your own intuition and make choices based on what you feel and want, and not based upon obligation or default. You can be great at a lot of things and choose not to do them, or keep them to yourself.
6. Stop explaining yourself. No one needs understand your reasoning besides you.
Every time you try and explain yourself to someone else you fall out of state. When you start explaining yourself often other people have either an opinion, advice, or a different perspective on what you are trying to explain. This can cause you to feel confusion and doubt. It can also become a habit that you explain yourself in order to get people to agree with you. Unfortunately, this can render you incapable of making decisions on your own and often you won’t trust yourself. Stop trying to explain yourself. Remember… you don’t need to prove yourself (refer to #2).
7. You’re never ever going to get everyone to agree.
There will never be a time when everyone on this planet agrees on every topic, or any topic for that matter. And this is a really great thing. Contrast is necessary. Differing opinions spark different desires. People will always be operating from different belief systems, different emotional states and different desires. Variety is a wonderful thing and if you know how to utilize this contrast, it helps make your life experiences even better. It is through this contrast that you know what you want, and what you don’t want. How would you know who you are and what you’re all about without variety? Let people have their own opinions and lifestyle and allow yourself to have yours. Also, don’t try and change who you are and what you want in order to have a relationship with anyone. If you don’t agree on core values, don’t make yourself agree if deep down you know you really don’t. If what you want is not a match, allow what needs to happen to happen (refer to #1).
8. You are only responsible for your own happiness.
You can not make anyone else happy. If you believe it is your job to make other people happy you will wind up exhausted and unsure about who you really are and what you are about. The people who rely on you for their happiness will become blood-sucking vultures. They will be needy and never learn how to feel good on their own. It is not your job, it is theirs. Only you can make yourself happy. No matter what people or romantic comedies have taught you, you are absolutely not responsible for why someone is happy or not.
9.They are not responsible for your happiness.
Just as you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness, they are not responsible for your happiness either. This means that if you aren’t happy, you can’t blame anyone else. You are responsible for keeping yourself happy. Trust me when I say this, if you stay happy and they just can’t or are not a match to what you really want, they will fade away or you will know without a doubt it is time for a change. So no matter what someone else is doing, maintain your own happiness in order to thrive in your own life.
10.It can only bother you if you give it attention, so choose what you give your attention to consciously.
You get what you think about, so think consciously. If you aren’t thinking about something that bothers you, it can’t bother you. It is that simple. But for some reason we think that thinking about what bothers us or is going wrong will somehow help. It doesn’t. You have to be solution focused. Being solution focused means being in an allowing state (refer to #1). You get to choose what you think about. You get to choose what you read. You get to choose what conversations you engage in. You get to choose what t.v. shows to watch. You get to choose what phone calls to screen. Be conscious and only choose to look at what you want more of in your life.
If you would like help implementing these 10 steps, you can learn more about coaching with me HERE.
XO,
Dana