Dana GattoThis is for the explainers out there. This is for those of you who have found yourselves waiting for judgement from someone who does not approve of your choice(s). This is for anyone who has hidden a purchase because you fear being called irresponsible or selfish or wrong in some way. This is for those who have ever wanted to hide their accomplishments or a piece of who they are or what they love, who they love, where they have been or done, or future dreams.
It is time to let go of explaining yourself for good. Here are reasons why going explaint-free could be just the thing you’re looking for to feel free and happy in your life.
Waiting drains your energy
I’m talking about waiting for judgement, waiting for people to get you before you will take action, waiting for people to approve of your choice, waiting for criticism. When you are waiting you are preparing yourself for what you believe is coming, or you are waiting for people to come around, or understand. All of these behaviors zap your power. You are losing energy or stopping the flow of it while waiting.
Try this: Give up the waiting. Your life is now and your life is yours to live. Make the choices that feel best to you and then go live them, it is time.
You want to learn to trust your choices
Explaining zaps you of empowerment. Decisions teach us to listen to ourselves; to understand instinct and intuition are the best tools we have for making choices that are right for us. Decisions help us clarify who we are and where we wish to go. When you explain yourself you move from intuition into mind. It becomes easy to stop honoring and trusting yourself and creates a pattern of doubt.
Try this: Feel the answer or decision and follow it. Make peace with the fact that only you need to understand it or even know you’re making a choice. Try moving forward with yourself and see how it feels. Remember that you can always make a new choice, but you must trust your own self. Trust that your decisions are right for you for reasons that no one else needs to understand. No one knows what you want like you do.
Explaining blocks creativity
Creativity means you are the creator of your life. Creator, not reactor. Creator, not subordinate. When you explain yourself you become a reactor. You give up the creative power that comes from living a life you design and you choose. You can not be a creator and a reactor at the same time. Either you are choosing your life path or you’re asking someone else to.
Try this: Accept that you are the creator of your own life. You get to choose all aspects of your life as it is meant for you. Try making peace with who you are and accepting that creativity is the source of life force, you don’t want to give that away.
Disapproval is a great opportunity
Learning to take full responsibility for your actions and choices is an empowering and important part of growing up. Letting people be disappointed in your choices or disapproving of them is a part of them learning that your choices are not their responsibility or business. You being okay with their disapproval or disappointment only furthers your growth. It is all a part of becoming a powerful, independent, personally responsible creator. Can you stick to your choices knowing someone you care about disapproves?
Try this: Whether people agree or disagree with you is none of your business. Try accepting that you can love and be loved by people and not care what each other thinks. You are free to be yourself, they are free to agree or disagree, no one has to change in the dynamic. Be okay with this and you’ll be free.
Explainers endorse irresponsibility (or victim-y behavior)
People who take personal responsibility for their lives do not blame others for their unhappiness, for their life situations, for their financial situation, etc. They instead realize they created it, and they can re-create anything. This is empowering. If you want to be personally responsible you have to mind your own business. Explaining yourself teaches people that it is okay not to take responsibility, and that it is okay to mind your business instead of their own. Your explanations are perpetuating the pattern of irresponsibility.
Try this: Stop blaming other people, taking other people’s inventory, and looking outside of yourself for your happiness. Take full responsibility for where your life is and choose whether you want to keep things the same or change them. You created your life, keep what you like and re-create what you do not. You are not a victim, you are a powerful creator.
Explainers play small
Explainers are waiting for permission or approval, or for people to get their choices. So much unhappiness comes from waiting for these things (see Waiting drains your energy above). How can you play big when you’re waiting for something you may never get?
Try this: Playing big means being clear and making decisions intuitively and quickly. Your intuition doesn’t explain itself so you shouldn’t either.