Dana GattoDo you ask for permission?
It really is easy to fall into the trap of looking to other people for permission. But by looking outside of yourself for that stamp of approval, you’re voluntarily choosing to give away your power and live your life according to someone else’s rules.
Have you ever found yourself looking to others wanting them to say ‘”It’s okay” or “It will work” or “You’re right” or “You deserve to take time off” or “You can spend the money on yourself or “You should go on that trip” or “It’s fine to eat that pizza.” We sometimes seek permission from other people, when all we really have to do is grant it to ourselves.
So why do we seek permission outside of ourselves?
Often it is because we simply do not TRUST ourselves.
Living in a society where it is ingrained in us to seek outside approval, we have to consciously reprogram our belief systems to trust in our own selves and follow our own inner guidance. We have to learn to support our own dreams, listen to our own intuition, hold our own hands when we fall and believe that we know what is best for ourselves. Popular opinion may not always agree with you, current social standards may be in opposition to what is calling you, some laws may be in opposition, public opinions, family opinions, and the list goes on.
Be your own support system.
If you feel compelled to seek outside permission, try reminding yourself that you have your back no matter what. Be your own support system. When you don’t need that outside support/permission it becomes much easier to follow what your own inner self really wants. When you believe you need people to approve or agree with you, often you hold yourself back or you try to change your own opinion to match what people are telling you that you should believe or do. You may also try to get others to change their opinions in order to agree with you, just so you feel like it is okay to indeed do what you want.
You can inspire others to trust in themselves.
Empower others to make their own decisions by inspiring them to take ownership and to feel confident in their decisions, whatever they may be. You don’t have to give your opinion every time someone asks, you can lead them to their own. This applies to your kids, partner, friends, clients, family… anyone for that matter. You want to empower them and inspire them to make their own decisions and to back themselves. You support them by not only inspiring them, but by then letting them know that the outcome is irrelevant as long as they have their own back. No one’s opinion means anything when you have your own back. You won’t need it and if you get it, you won’t cling to it as though you have to follow it.
You are just as worthy as anybody else, and you are absolutely capable of living your life without needing consent or permission OR APPROVAL from anybody else.
Seeking permission as a learned behavior.
This permission seeking behavior usually begins in childhood. Not all parents helicopter their children, however. Some parents allow their children to make their own choices and let them live the outcome unconditionally. Many children, however, are taught to seek approval and permission from parents, teachers, baby sitters, coaches, bosses, people in leadership positions, other kids, etc. We can’t be happy adults if we keep seeking parental permission like we’re still kids. Good news is we can change these beliefs now no matter what we were trained to believe. You can learn to trust yourself now. You can support yourself.
Have your own back and trust in yourself. You’re never going to gain approval from everyone anyway…so you might as well start doing what you want and live happily ever after.
Dana
