Dana Gatto
Human needs and problems
According to famed life coach Tony Robbins, humans have 6 needs that must be met consistently. These six needs are what drive human behavior, and they can be fulfilled in ways that are positive, meaningful and bring us to where we want to go. They can also be fulfilled in ways that are negative, meaning they keep us from what it is that we really want.
The 6 human needs are:
- Certainty
- Uncertainty
- Significance
- Connection/love
- Growth
- Contribultion
Trust me when I say that you do in fact find a way to meet these needs on a consistent basis. You also personally have them ranked in order of importance to you. Its important to know what you value and where you list these human needs in order to ensure you are living a joyful, fulfilling life (The Mini-Dream Life Program will answer this question).
So what does all of this have to do with becoming addicted to problems?
Well, the first 4 needs are always met, the last two are considered spiritual needs. You need them to feel fulfilled, but you don’t necessarily need to meet them every single day (unless you want to be really happy).
Problems can take care of meeting all 4 basic human needs in one swoop. Remember I said that we can meet our needs in ways that are positive, or in ways that are negative. Having problems, whether specific or general can create certainty in your life (you’re certain things are problematic or that you won’t have your dream life, etc.), uncertainty (they just might get solved or new ones might just pop up, or they keep you from feeling bored, you don’t know how you’ll get the money, etc.), significance (you’re so special to have this problem, this problem just doesn’t make sense for someone like you), and even connection or love (people listen and often feel bad for you or go with you or tell you how strong you are or you feel needed by those with problems).
Now, I am not saying problems aren’t real. Problems are a gift actually and you’ll always have them. However, if you spend your time in problems and never solving them, or if things are always happening to you, or if you have a specific story that keeps recurring (bad relationships, money troubles, terrible bosses, etc.), you just might have an addiction to problems, or to the feeling of meeting all of your needs in one swoop.
Have you ever asked yourself what you get out of telling that horrible story? Or why do people talk about ailments, illnesses, things gone wrong? Why don’t people leave situations that aren’t great? Why do people go through the ho-hum of a day they don’t like? There is a good chance that these people, or you if it applies, are meeting their needs by behaving this way.
So how would it feel to meet your needs in ways that feel really good? In ways that align with those 2 spiritual needs? How would life be different if you could let go of your attachment to problems, or to that specific problem? Who would you be without it? And are you willing to let it go in order to become a really happy, fun, dynamic, intelligent person. You could be someone who, when faced with problems, handles them with confidence and acceptance.
You can find certainty in ways that feel good, you can find uncertainty in ways that feel really good, you can be connected and loved for who you really are and you can be significant because of the wonderful person you are and the wonderful things you do and bring to this world. What if your new story is that everything is always working out for you?
The order of importance is important
The order of importance is very important. You have to make sure you are paying attention to what is important to YOU. Also, you may want to know how you rank these needs because if your need for certainty for example is way higher than uncertainty, you may avoid trying something new in order to feel certain and safe. If you value uncertainty far more than certainty, you may partake in extra risky behaviors. The important thing to note is you can satisfy all the needs, and you have to satisfy them in order. You have to find a way to meet your needs in a positive and fulfilling way in order to live your Dream Life! Now let go of that addiction to problems.
XO
Dana